Mars Curiosity Rover Successfully Reaches Jesuit Seminary
Berkeley, CA––NASA announced Tuesday that its 2.5 billion dollar Mars Curiosity Rover has successfully touched down in the Jesuit Seminary in Berkeley. For close to a decade, the Church and NASA alike...
View ArticleFour Jesuit Missionaries Dead After Battle With Portuguese Colonists
Iguazu Falls, Argentina–Hundreds of Guarani tribe members, including four Jesuit missionaries, were slain early this week when their Mission, located atop the perilous Iguazu Falls on the boundaries of...
View ArticleNew Text Message Mass All The Rage At Gonzaga University
Spokane, Washington–Expressing sadness for the lack of attention from parishioners during Sunday Masses, Gonzaga University priest Fr. John Conti has recently instituted an all new ”Text-Message-Only...
View ArticleArea Jesuit Excited About New “Clerics” From Tommy Bahama
Seattle, WA––The Seattle-based manufacturer of casual men’s sportswear Tommy Bahama is set to release its highly-anticipated new line of clothing for Jesuits this week. The clothing company, whose...
View ArticleJesuit Celebrates Halloween By Dressing Up In “Priest Costume”
Cincinnati, OH––Hoping to surprise his family and friends at Holy Trinity Parish’s annual Halloween Breakfast this morning, local Jesuit Walter Allen arrived dressed as a Roman Catholic Priest. ”It’s...
View Article
